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After cremation, many families are left with an important question: what should you do with the ashes? There is no single answer. Some people keep cremated remains at home, while others choose burial, scattering, memorial jewelry, a living memorial, or another personal tribute.
You also do not have to make the decision immediately. Some families know what they want within days, while others keep the ashes for months or years before choosing a permanent memorial. Both approaches can be completely reasonable.
Keep the Ashes at Home in a Memorial Urn
Keeping cremation ashes at home is one of the simplest options. A cremation urn can be displayed on a mantel, shelf, memory table, or another meaningful location where family members can visit it privately.
Families can choose from metal, wood, ceramic, stone, biodegradable, and decorative urns. Size is also important when selecting an urn. A standard adult urn commonly holds around 200 cubic inches of cremated remains, although the amount can vary.
Bury the Ashes in a Cemetery
Another traditional choice is burial of ashes in a cemetery. Some cemeteries offer dedicated cremation plots or cremation gardens, while others allow an urn to be placed in an existing family plot.
Cemetery burial creates a permanent place where relatives can visit, leave flowers, or gather for a memorial service. Before making arrangements, contact the cemetery to ask about availability, fees, container requirements, burial depth, and local cemetery rules.
Place the Urn in a Columbarium
A columbarium is a structure or wall containing individual niches designed for cremated remains. Columbariums may be located at cemeteries, religious institutions, or memorial properties.
This option can work well for families who want a permanent memorial location without purchasing a traditional burial plot. A niche may also provide space for a name plaque, photograph, flowers, or another small remembrance.
Scatter the Ashes in a Meaningful Place
Scattering ashes allows families to return cremated remains to a location that had special meaning. This could be a favorite beach, mountain, garden, hiking area, lake, or private property.
For ocean scattering, federal EPA rules generally require cremated remains to be scattered at least three nautical miles from shore, with additional requirements applying to certain materials and circumstances.
Divide the Ashes Among Family Members
Families do not have to keep all the cremated remains together. Ashes can be divided so children, siblings, spouses, or other relatives can each have a portion.
Dividing ashes can be especially useful when family members live in different cities or states and want a personal way to remember the same person.
Create Memorial Jewelry or Keepsakes
Memorial jewelry offers a way to carry a small portion of cremated remains with you. Pendants, rings, bracelets, lockets, and other remembrance pieces are available in many designs.
Other keepsakes can include glass art, paperweights, ornaments, sculptures, and decorative memorial pieces that incorporate a small amount of ashes.
Plant a Memorial Tree or Garden
A memorial tree can create a living tribute that grows over time. Some companies offer biodegradable planting urns designed to be used with a seed or plant.
You can also create a memorial garden with flowers, shrubs, or another plant that reminds your family of the person who passed away.
Create a Memorial Reef
For someone who loved the ocean, a memorial reef can provide a distinctive ecological tribute. Specialized providers can incorporate cremated remains into reef structures that are placed underwater.
Over time, these structures can become part of a marine habitat. Costs, placement locations, and availability vary, so families should research the provider, environmental requirements, ceremony details, and placement area before making arrangements.
Turn Ashes Into Memorial Art
Cremation ashes can become part of a personalized piece of artwork. Depending on the artist, a small amount of remains may be incorporated into glass, paintings, sculptures, ceramics, or other memorial pieces.
You could commission artwork inspired by a favorite landscape, hobby, pet, photograph, or personal memory. The finished piece can then become a meaningful memorial displayed in the family home.
Consider a More Unusual Memorial
Some families want a memorial that reflects the personality, hobbies, interests, or wishes of their loved one. Depending on local laws and available services, possibilities may include:
- Taking ashes on a meaningful trip
- Incorporating ashes into a vinyl record
- Creating a memorial tattoo
- Using a small portion in a memorial sculpture
- Arranging a special aerial or outdoor memorial ceremony
- Using ashes in a memorial fireworks service where legally available
- Creating a unique memorial object or keepsake
- Arranging a tribute connected to a favorite sports venue
These options may involve special permissions, transportation requirements, safety procedures, or provider-specific rules. Research the service carefully before making arrangements.
National Cemetery Interment for Eligible Veterans
For eligible U.S. veterans, national cemetery interment may be another option. Qualified veterans may be eligible for burial or placement of cremated remains in a national cemetery, along with certain memorial benefits.
Eligibility and available benefits depend on individual circumstances. Families should check current requirements and make arrangements directly with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.
How to Choose What to Do With Cremation Ashes
There is no single answer to what you should do with a loved one's ashes. Consider what mattered to that person, what your family feels comfortable with, your budget, and whether you want a permanent place to visit.
You can also combine several options. For example, you might keep most of the cremated remains in a personalized urn, give small portions to family members in keepsake urns, and scatter another portion at a meaningful location.
Most importantly, you do not have to decide immediately. Taking time can help your family choose a memorial option that feels right rather than making a choice simply because you feel pressured.
Frequently Asked Questions About Cremation Ashes
Have questions about keeping, sharing, burying, or scattering cremation ashes? Find clear answers to some of the questions families commonly ask after cremation.
? How long can you keep ashes after cremation?
In many situations, families can keep cremated remains for as long as they wish. However, specific requirements can vary by state and circumstance. If you are unsure about local rules, contact your funeral provider or check your state's requirements.
? Can you split ashes between family members?
Yes. Families can divide cremated remains among relatives using keepsake urns, small memorial containers, or cremation jewelry. This allows several family members to keep a personal portion of the ashes.
? Can ashes be scattered anywhere?
No. Scattering rules depend on the location, land ownership, and applicable regulations. Public parks, federal land, waterways, private property, and coastal areas can have different requirements. Always check with the relevant authority or property owner before scattering ashes.
? What is the most common thing to do with cremation ashes?
Common choices include keeping cremated remains in a memorial urn at home, burying the urn in a cemetery, placing it in a columbarium, scattering the ashes, or dividing them among family members.
? Can you keep some ashes and scatter the rest?
Yes. Families can combine different memorial options. For example, you may keep some ashes in an urn, place a portion in keepsake jewelry, give some to relatives, and scatter or bury the remainder.
? Do you need a special urn for scattering ashes?
Not always. However, families may choose a biodegradable urn for certain scattering ceremonies, especially when the container is intended to break down naturally in water or another suitable environment.
? What can you do with a small amount of cremation ashes?
A small portion can be used for memorial jewelry, keepsake urns, glass art, paintings, sculptures, ornaments, or other memorial keepsakes. This can be combined with keeping or scattering the remaining ashes.
? Is it okay to wait before deciding what to do with ashes?
Yes. Families do not necessarily need to make an immediate decision. Keeping the cremated remains securely stored while considering your options can give everyone time to decide what feels appropriate.
